Carpe Diem
Aug 12, 2014 17:58:01 GMT
Post by DezzyBee on Aug 12, 2014 17:58:01 GMT
In the light of the world's latest tragedy, I want to take a moment out of my day to say something...
You are not alone.
Robin Williams was a great actor, comedian and man. I remember when I was younger, he was the first VOICE I recognized outside of my parents. I could identify him as "genie" every time I heard his voice in any movie, even though I didn't know there was a human being behind that voice. Some of his greatest moments are quotes that will forever live in my head. Even now I have a plan to tattoo "You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it." on my arm. Because it's true. We're all a bit crazy, but that's what makes us special. It adds to our uniqueness and our energy.
But this brings up a more serious discussion...
I'm sure everyone has had some sort of battle with sadness in the past, and I have yet to meet a person who HASN'T thought "what would the world be like without me" at least once in their lives. Personally I've been fighting with depression since I was 15, but the worst of it hit when I was 18 and my grandfather died. I attempted suicide twice, once when I was 15 and once when I was 20. Obviously I failed, and in many ways I've recovered. I still struggle with suicidal thoughts on occasion, but I've learned that I'm stuck on this planet until it's my time to go or aliens kidnap me, whichever comes first...
There's no shame in asking for help. I tend to be very bad at this. At least twice a day I struggle with something because I'd rather not bother anyone with my problems, even if that problem is that I'm getting overwhelmed at work and need an extra pair of hands to help me out. I quite often suffer through the pain because asking for help is next to admitting defeat. I'd rather just give up and call myself a failure than ask for help with something. This is a stigma I learned from my mom. When I was younger and asked for help with my growing depression, she laughed it off and said I wasn't depressed, but going through a phase, or that I was just "hormonal." So I learned to shut it inside.
Three months ago I hit an all time low with my depression; My living situation was a bit rough and stressful, I was frustrated with life and my family, I had barely been eating or sleeping due to work and being short-handed again... I was a mess. Those unbidden thoughts started coming back and I finally had enough... I went to my family doctor and asked for a list of psychiatrists that could potentially help me. I am now in therapy once a week, because I have to pay for all this out of pocket, but it helps. I still get my lows, usually when I'm beat up and exhausted from work. But... I'm working through things better, realizing the core issues of all my problems!
Never be afraid to ask for help if you start feeling suicidal or depressed. If you EVER so much as have the vague thought, I'm just a PM, email or text message away if you have my phone number. While I might not always have the best response times (I've been working a variant of day AND night shifts lately), I'm here, and will see it and reply as quickly as I can manage.
Now go, my children, spread your joy and happiness and watch many Robin Williams movies this week! Show love to people who are having a bad day, and kindess to those who may not be as kind to you!!
DezzyBee
You are not alone.
Robin Williams was a great actor, comedian and man. I remember when I was younger, he was the first VOICE I recognized outside of my parents. I could identify him as "genie" every time I heard his voice in any movie, even though I didn't know there was a human being behind that voice. Some of his greatest moments are quotes that will forever live in my head. Even now I have a plan to tattoo "You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it." on my arm. Because it's true. We're all a bit crazy, but that's what makes us special. It adds to our uniqueness and our energy.
But this brings up a more serious discussion...
I'm sure everyone has had some sort of battle with sadness in the past, and I have yet to meet a person who HASN'T thought "what would the world be like without me" at least once in their lives. Personally I've been fighting with depression since I was 15, but the worst of it hit when I was 18 and my grandfather died. I attempted suicide twice, once when I was 15 and once when I was 20. Obviously I failed, and in many ways I've recovered. I still struggle with suicidal thoughts on occasion, but I've learned that I'm stuck on this planet until it's my time to go or aliens kidnap me, whichever comes first...
There's no shame in asking for help. I tend to be very bad at this. At least twice a day I struggle with something because I'd rather not bother anyone with my problems, even if that problem is that I'm getting overwhelmed at work and need an extra pair of hands to help me out. I quite often suffer through the pain because asking for help is next to admitting defeat. I'd rather just give up and call myself a failure than ask for help with something. This is a stigma I learned from my mom. When I was younger and asked for help with my growing depression, she laughed it off and said I wasn't depressed, but going through a phase, or that I was just "hormonal." So I learned to shut it inside.
Three months ago I hit an all time low with my depression; My living situation was a bit rough and stressful, I was frustrated with life and my family, I had barely been eating or sleeping due to work and being short-handed again... I was a mess. Those unbidden thoughts started coming back and I finally had enough... I went to my family doctor and asked for a list of psychiatrists that could potentially help me. I am now in therapy once a week, because I have to pay for all this out of pocket, but it helps. I still get my lows, usually when I'm beat up and exhausted from work. But... I'm working through things better, realizing the core issues of all my problems!
Never be afraid to ask for help if you start feeling suicidal or depressed. If you EVER so much as have the vague thought, I'm just a PM, email or text message away if you have my phone number. While I might not always have the best response times (I've been working a variant of day AND night shifts lately), I'm here, and will see it and reply as quickly as I can manage.
Now go, my children, spread your joy and happiness and watch many Robin Williams movies this week! Show love to people who are having a bad day, and kindess to those who may not be as kind to you!!
DezzyBee
