DezzyUpdates
Jan 7, 2015 18:13:25 GMT
Post by DezzyBee on Jan 7, 2015 18:13:25 GMT
Hey guys, just a quick few updates for you on my well-being and the reason I'm gone so much, and will remain gone for just a bit longer. Also I apologize for typos and missing caps, my keyboard's a bit wonky.
First of all, a bit of history. Many many years ago, (like 24 for example) There was a little girl born with a defective heart. Two little holes in the valves that control blood, one in one of the lower chambers and one in one of the upper chambers. Back then their biggest concern was stopping any sort of infection from happening so she spent her first three years on antibiotics. Back then they didn't realize that extended periods of time on antibiotics killed your immune system off, especially at early ages when your immune system was still developing.
That being said, ever since then I've been extremely susceptible to illness. I've been fighting off a head cold and a sinus infection for the better part of 2 months, and I haven't had health insurance to get medications until the last three weeks... Im still waiting for my card to come in the mail however =/ so I've been down a lot. My three days off are spent downing alka seltzer and sleeping. When i get really ambitious I clean my apartment, and play video games.
Granted this doesn't cover the weeks before that that I've been gone. Two more stories for that.
1) my laptop is old. like my keyboard is screwed up (which anyone that knows how to code knows what a big difference one letter can make in a line of coding), my fan doesn't work half of the time, meaning a LOT of my projects, which include coding or graphics, i can't even work on right now because my laptop can't handle the pressure. So most everything is being pushed back another month or so until i can get something i can actually work with.
2) I've been struggling a lot the last few years with depression. Like really badly. 2014 was one of my worst years ever. I think I spent more time curled up in a ball trying to prevent an anxiety attack than I did anything else this year. I finally got some help for it, but it hasn't been doing much good. They want to put me on depression medication, which I don't need. I know I don't need it. I've been fighting it on my own for years. Most meds tend to make you lifeless, or inhibit other parts of your brain. I can't afford that. I need to be as fully functioning as I can be in my industry... so I've had to go back to dealing with a lot of stuff and trying to find a new therapist that is anti-drug. Because I am anti-drug.
To top it all off, my grandma just turned 90 this year (like two days ago). I don't have too many years left with her, so I've been spending AS MUCH TIME as possible with her and my family.
So I am still around. I still check in, but mainly until I get my computer fixed or get a new one, I'm not actually going to be on. I'm sorry. I really am. I planned so much more for this place and my limitations right now are killing me. I'll keep ya'll updated, and i hope I get back on the ball soon. Love you all so much.
Merry christmas and Happy New Year.
First of all, a bit of history. Many many years ago, (like 24 for example) There was a little girl born with a defective heart. Two little holes in the valves that control blood, one in one of the lower chambers and one in one of the upper chambers. Back then their biggest concern was stopping any sort of infection from happening so she spent her first three years on antibiotics. Back then they didn't realize that extended periods of time on antibiotics killed your immune system off, especially at early ages when your immune system was still developing.
That being said, ever since then I've been extremely susceptible to illness. I've been fighting off a head cold and a sinus infection for the better part of 2 months, and I haven't had health insurance to get medications until the last three weeks... Im still waiting for my card to come in the mail however =/ so I've been down a lot. My three days off are spent downing alka seltzer and sleeping. When i get really ambitious I clean my apartment, and play video games.
Granted this doesn't cover the weeks before that that I've been gone. Two more stories for that.
1) my laptop is old. like my keyboard is screwed up (which anyone that knows how to code knows what a big difference one letter can make in a line of coding), my fan doesn't work half of the time, meaning a LOT of my projects, which include coding or graphics, i can't even work on right now because my laptop can't handle the pressure. So most everything is being pushed back another month or so until i can get something i can actually work with.
2) I've been struggling a lot the last few years with depression. Like really badly. 2014 was one of my worst years ever. I think I spent more time curled up in a ball trying to prevent an anxiety attack than I did anything else this year. I finally got some help for it, but it hasn't been doing much good. They want to put me on depression medication, which I don't need. I know I don't need it. I've been fighting it on my own for years. Most meds tend to make you lifeless, or inhibit other parts of your brain. I can't afford that. I need to be as fully functioning as I can be in my industry... so I've had to go back to dealing with a lot of stuff and trying to find a new therapist that is anti-drug. Because I am anti-drug.
To top it all off, my grandma just turned 90 this year (like two days ago). I don't have too many years left with her, so I've been spending AS MUCH TIME as possible with her and my family.
So I am still around. I still check in, but mainly until I get my computer fixed or get a new one, I'm not actually going to be on. I'm sorry. I really am. I planned so much more for this place and my limitations right now are killing me. I'll keep ya'll updated, and i hope I get back on the ball soon. Love you all so much.
Merry christmas and Happy New Year.
